XX XXXX XXX,
Blk XX-X-X
Prince George’s Park Singapore 118425
Telephone: (+65) XXXXXXXX
Email: u0XXXXXX@nus.edu.sg
2nd February 2010
NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC
Human Resource Office,
6th Storey, Blok 1,535 Clementi Road,
Singapore 599489.
Dear Human Resource Officer,
APPLICATION FOR THE POSITION OF TECHNICAL SUPPORT OFFICER (REF:LSCT/TSO)
I am writing to apply for the position of Technical support officer (Ref: LSCT/TSO) that was advertised through Jobstreet.com on 30th January 2010. As you will note from my enclosed resume, I am currently a student of National University of Singapore (NUS) majoring in Life Sciences and will be graduating in June 2010.
Throughout my years in NUS, I have read through modules that are highly related to the areas that are being researched by your institution. Besides that, through the laboratory sessions in my undergraduate years, I am equipped with most of the necessary skills that are required in a research lab, such as handling cell cultures, experimental animals and so on. Thus I believe that I have the relevant skills and knowledge required for this post.
I believe it is crucial for a technical support officer to be organized and meticulous to obtain accurate results for the research, which are the qualities I possess. My past experiences as the treasurer of the Tennis Club during my days in secondary school helped me to develop such qualities. Besides that, I have the ability to work both independently and in a team. This is further demonstrated by my past experiences as the committee member of the class when I was in secondary school. This is essential for a technical support officer as one is required to work independently in a laboratory and able to cooperate well with others to solve problems encountered. Furthermore, I have developed the value of responsibility through my years of being a school prefect. I believe such qualities are valued highly in this job.
In addition, I have demonstrated excellent people skills as well as strong analytical skills. I believe my education, skills and experiences fit your requirements, and I am confident my skills would be an asset to your institution.
I would be pleased with the salary that fits the market price, which ranges from $2000 - $2500.
I am available for interview at your convenience anytime and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours faithfully,
XX XXXX XXX
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Hi Xian Rui
ReplyDeleteI missed the lesson on application letter, so I just give you my suggestions based on my understanding.
Firstly, I have a feeling that your descriptions are a little bit vague to me. In other words, you don't have enough concrete examples to support your points. For instance, "This is further demonstrated by my past experiences as the committee member of the class when I was in secondary school." I feel that it is better to briefly give an example of what you did in order to illustrate that you have this quality.
Secondly, I am not sure about the position technical support officer. Is it like an IT technical support officer? If so, then I think your description about your undergraduate study is irrelevant. I am not sure about this.
Last but not least, I do not think it is appropriate to include your expectation about salary in your cover letter. Rather, you could mention your requirement of salary in a broad way. That would be nicer, I guess.
Hi Xian Rui,
ReplyDeleteJust a few points to note:
1. - "Besides that, I have the ability to work both independently and in a team. This is further demonstrated by my past experiences as the committee member of the class when I was in secondary school."
- Besides that... my past experience as a committee member of the class...
2.- This is essential for a technical support officer as one is required to work independently in a laboratory and able to cooperate well with others to solve problems encountered.
- This is...required to work independently in a laboratory and be able to cooperate well..
As Ji Lu mentioned, you may want to consider leaving out the paragraph on your expected salary.
Gwen
Hi Xian Rui,
ReplyDeletelet me start off with the positives.
1. You are thorough with explaining the attituded needed by a technical support officer. You have mentioned these values and attributes in many paragraphs
2. The general tone is good. You are selling yourself well yet not overdoing it!
And the things you may want to consider:
1. Be more specific. Eg in the first paragraph, you mentioned research skills. Perhaps giving them an idea of which lab(state the field or department) you worked in that has the most relevannce to which particular area of research in the Ngee Ann Poly labsm would be great.
2. I agree with Ji Lu. You might want to remove the paragraph about the salary.
3. And if you have more recent examples(ie when you were in NUS)it will hold more weightage! I believe most employers immediately zoom in to what you did during your tertiary education.
That said, I hope I did not bore you with my long comment. All the best :D !!
Jivs
Hi Xian rui,
ReplyDeleteIn the 1st paragraph, I think you can just state directly that you are a student of NUS and remove the part “ as you will not from my enclosed resume”.
In the 2nd paragraph, maybe you should not put “ throughout my years in NUS” because the word it seems that ‘throughout my years’ is used for a longer time span. Maybe you could just mention ‘ In NUS or studying in NUS”. Also you mentioned that you read modules highly related to the research areas of the institute. I think you could put down the exact modules you are talking about so that the reader can relate to exactly what knowledge you have. I think you could also shorten your descriptions and be more direct like “NUS has provided me with intensive laboratory experiences whereby I am equipped with skills such as handling cell cultures, experimental animals and so on which you are looking for.”
In the 3rd paragraph,
You state “I believe it is crucial for a technical support officer to be organized and meticulous to obtain accurate results for the research, which are the qualities I possess. My past experiences as the treasurer of the Tennis Club during my days in secondary school helped me to develop such qualities.”. this part doesn’t seem to flow and appears to be fragmented.
Past experiences as a treasurer of the Tennis Club has required that I be organized and meticulous when handling financial matters and these qualities have been brought out in me which I think are essential attributes of a technical support officer. As being an organized and meticulous person ensures that lab procedures are done appropriately and accurately.
You mentioned “Besides that, I have the ability to work both independently and in a team. This is further demonstrated by my past experiences as the committee member of the class when I was in secondary school. This is essential for a technical support officer as one is required to work independently in a laboratory and able to cooperate well with others to solve problems encountered.” This is not concise and some parts can be shortened. Also, some descriptions are vague.
I am both an independent worker and team-player…..(how has your past experiences tie back to you being an independent/ team player? You didn’t draw that clear link. Perhaps you want to elaborate on this part)….Being an independent worker ensures that I can conduct lab work confidently by myself. At the same time, in research teams, I will be able to work and cooperate well with others which is important in a smooth delivery of results.
“Furthermore, I have developed the value of responsibility through my years of being a school prefect. I believe such qualities are valued highly in this job.” The expression is a little weird. Descriptions are vague. You are only talking about being responsible here, so your ending sentence does not tie back. I think you might want to edit on this part by elaborating more.
In 4th paragraph, “I have demonstrated excellent people skills as well as strong analytical skills. I believe my education, skills and experiences fit your requirements, and I am confident my skills would be an asset to your institution.” Are you doing a little re-iteration of what you mentioned above? If so, maybe using “in addition” is not appropriate.
“ I believe my knowledge, skills and good interpersonal skills would be an asset to your research institute……”
Your closing paragraph might want to include your contact information again and could express a little more on how much you wish to get an interview.
I’m not sure about this but I saw that the job advertisement requested for the salaries expectations so I thought it was fine to include it in the letter.
Overall, I think you have put in great effort in this letter. However, I think it is lacking a little in coherence. Certain parts are vague and incomplete and could be refined to be more concise as well. Hope my suggestions help. :)
Hi dear!!! I like the way u stated the relevance of your project to their company. That will give u the cutting edge over others for sure! But in your third para u should not say that u belive that a tech officer is impt cause i am sure they alreday know that. In fact talk more on how your skills (in whichever area) can help u better adapt or help the company more if they hire.
ReplyDeleteHi all,
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your advice, but the salary part is stated in the adverstisment so I include it.
Xian Rui