“I DON’T HAVE FRIENDS”...
This was what I always said when I was in high school, though in fact I did have a lot of good friends. However, without knowing the reasons I would always feel lonely and sad as if I were the layer of oil on water which could not mix well with all of my friends.
Why can’t I mix well with them? Why do I always feel that I am an outcast? These types of questions were always in my mind until I read an article about effective communication. This article made me realize that my problem lies in my COMMUNICATION skills.
Therefore, from that day onwards I tried to change and develop some effective communication skills according to what I had read from that article.
From that article, I learnt that games can be a good way to overcome social discomfort and shyness which are the main obstacles to effective communications. Thus I learned to play a traditional Chinese game ,Mahjong which is also my friends’ favorite games. After learning and playing Mahjong I found that I am more ready to interact with my friends. Through this method, the relationship between me and my friends have been enhanced as I can communicate better with them without feeling shy and discomfort. Eventually we have had more topics to talk about and this made me happier.
Thus, after this I gain a conclusion that developing EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS are important in our daily life as life is all about relationships. Struggling with relationship be it with friends, family, schoolmates, etc can be something tiring. Hence by learning effective communication skills, life would be easier as relationship between people can be something interesting if we know how to communicate effectively.
Hence, when I saw the description of this module through the CORS website I was actually quite happy as I know this would be a good chance for me to learn more about effective communication skills. Since I am from a Chinese speaking family, I am also quite worried. Speaking fluently and confidently in English in fact is a difficult task for me but this is the reality that I have to face and overcome. Therefore I really hope that through this module I can communicate effectively with everyone around me and I can speak in English fluently and confidently.
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Hey Xian Rui,
ReplyDeleteIts good to see that you are taking steps towards improving your grasp of the English Language. I would say that I have quite a similar problem, just that it is concerning my Mother Tongue, Tamil. I am not very confident in my spoken Tamil, and I could never imagine myself taking up such a module in Tamil. So I admire you for this. On a side note, a blogging buddy to proofread the draft before publishing may prove to be useful. This is just my suggestion.
Anyway all the best! :)
Keerthani
There is no doubt that finding a common interest is an effective way to communicate with others and make friends with others. I remembered when I was in primary school, I forced myself to play football with my classmates so that I could hang out with them and become friends eventually. But later on I realized that it was not the right way to make friends. I should not sacrifice my own interest and force myself to do what others want me to do in order to make friends. Real friendship should be far more than that. Friends care about each other and accept who they are no matter how different they are from each other. I think my point is that it is a good thing that you try to find common interest between you and your friends, but do not force yourself to do anything that you do not like. Real friends should appreciate what you really are.
ReplyDeleteHey xian rui,
ReplyDeleteI must say I have to agree with Keerthani. Taking a similar module in my mother tongue would spell disaster for me and I admire your courage and determination to want to improve your language skills. I personally believe that reading and speaking a language often is one of the best ways to improve your language prowess. Since this module gives you opportunity to speak, you should try and set aside free time everyday to read the papers, a book or magazines perhaps. You will see progress in no time (:
Cheers! And good luck!
I think your post is so true! I remember the time i felt that way too! Like a layer of oil on water...always awkwardly left out and not able to talk or laugh much woth your friends. So i did what you did too! MAKE MORE EFFORT haha! First i observed how my other friends communicated and what they would say to get a good response form people. Then i would use the same technique too! However it would always make my cheeks hurt as it required a lot of smiling (including the pretense ones) and a lot of getting used to. By nature i am a moody person and my communication abilities tend to depend on my mood swings too. In the past even when i used to see a friend in the train and i wasn't in the mood, i would just pretend i didnt see her and look away! Ahhhh! Talk about being anti-social haha! But then i learnt the importance of communicating and communicating effectively cause at the end of the day the rewards are always good! =)
ReplyDeleteWe are all your friends. Haha. Frankly, I think I admire your efforts in wanting to build a closer relationship with your friends. Often, I think friendships break because it comes to a point where no one takes a step to want to make it a stronger one. I believe that friendships have to be sustained through continual efforts to and I do see your efforts in finding a common platform to interact with your friends but I also share JiLu’s concerns over losing individuality if one becomes too conforming to others because it can be tiring to do so if it becomes a one-way thing in the building of friendships. And yes, friends love and appreciate you for who you are. Last, I also share your sentiments that this course would be a great platform for one to hone language and speaking abilities. I look forward to more learning opportunities to come along the way too.
ReplyDelete:)Germaine
Thanks, Xian Rui, for this honest, interesting and well focused post. I like the way you develop the idea of your needing to refine your comm skills using the very specific story of your past ineffectiveness and shy feelings. That playing the game mahjong became a bridge between you and your friends is quite amazing. I'm glad that everything worked out well for you, too.
ReplyDeleteAs you might know, a few language problems present themselves in this post:
1) verb tense: ...though in fact I do have.... >>> ...though in fact I did have....
2) ...a good way to overcome social discomfort and shyness which is the main obstacles to... >>> ...a good way to overcome social discomfort and shyness, which ARE two of the main obstacles to....
3) Thus I learn to play a traditional Chinese game –Mahjong which is also my friends’ favorite games. >>> Thus, I learnED to play a traditional Chinese game, mahjong, which is also my friends’ favorite game.
4) the relationship between me and my friends is.... >>> the relationships between me and my friends have been...
5) Eventually we have more topics to talk on and this make me happier. >>> Eventually we have had more topics to talk about and this has made me happier.
6) some verb problems in the final two paragraphs
Please review these points.
Thanks for the great effort!
Effective Communication is very important in every Place. I was very weak in my Communication. Thus I learnt a course on how to improve my skill and launch many innovative ideas.
ReplyDelete